Curse The Night

It’s been a little over a month and I still can’t get used to sleeping alone. When my boyfriend got a promotion and was switched to the night shift, I thought oh no big deal. I’ll have the bed to myself and sleep like a baby because he won’t be hogging the bed. But. . . nope, that didn’t happen, not at all.

It’s funny how you get so used to having someone there. I was, especially, surprised because we’re not cuddlers but his presence alone was sufficient and now it’s tough getting used to being without him here. It’s a struggle to get at least 5 hours in. I have terrible anxiety and his presence helps abate that stress. With him gone at night, I’m freaking out and back to my insomniac ways. He thinks I play too much on the computer or get distracted on my phone but really that’s the only thing that helps distract me from the anxiety. Sleep is not my friend.

I have about 4 hours left before I have to be up, but here I am chatting away to a screen in hopes that it’ll soothe this swelling in my chest. I took some self-portraits a bit ago in hopes that it would help, it didn’t at first but once I got to do the slight editing. . . I began to nod off. It’s working, it’s getting hard to keep my lids open.

Here’s day 2 of my self-portraits. I don’t want to commit to saying it’s the next 30 day challenge, because I don’t want to fail again haha but it could be. Well, I guess we shall see. If it doesn’t work out, I suppose we could say this is me trying not to lose my wits. Also, I do think they’re somewhat indicative of how I feel right about now.

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