It’s raining outside and I hate that the A/C is on drowning out the sound of thunder and the pitter patter of the rain. I miss the days where I would lay by the window listening intently to the sound of thunder beckoning for a dance, the rain would sing melodies to lure the lightening to a forbidden dance across the darkened sky. It was all so romantic and magical when I was younger. Now, the sound is drowned out by the humming and whirring of the a/c unit or I have to make sure the windows and slider’s are locked because otherwise I’m panic stricken of the consequences of leaving my slider or window open.
To be precise, it’s not the adult part that transformed me into this panic ridden person but experiences that occurred in my youth and well into my adult life that have changed me into this panic ridden being. I’ve noticed that I’m usually enveloped in fear when I move into a new place but once I’m settled in I tend to ease up, stop carrying a knife, stop double checking everything is locked or having nightmares about people breaking in. I was so close to getting that peace of mind, or as close to it as I’ll ever be at my current place, but then this Sunday that went out that window. While the boyfriend and I were making our way over to my friend’s house we noticed their were 3 squad cars outside one of the apartments. An elderly woman was standing outside with a phone to her ear talking to 3 officers and we figured, considering it’s Memorial Day Weekend, they were being drunk/disorderly/loud with their partying. When we arrived at 11:30 p.m. the scene had escalated into a full on lockdown.
We tried to make our way in to our apartment but the cops had both entrances blocked. Their were over 10 squad cars, that I could count, and eventually even swat made their way in.
According to the cop that was blocking passage their was a man with a gun making threats. Supposedly it was against his own life but it’s easy to argue against that considering they had over 10 squad cars, swat, paramedics and a fire truck at arms reach. But I’m not a cop and was too tired to pretend to know why they do the things they did. We didn’t get mad or annoyed, even though we were exhausted, we just parked our car along the row of already waiting neighbors and waited.
I was annoyed because people kept trying to sneak pictures and kept standing in crowds trying to view everything. Possibly, Tweeting/facebooking or using this terrible situation for their attention-whore syndrome a lot of people are currently suffering from. It’s evident I took pictures but I wasn’t being invasive, I took them from my car and didn’t bug the police. It just annoys me when people are too focused on getting likes on their social media than focusing on the matter at hand. Their’s a man with a gun who is not in a mentally stable place and could start shooting at any second. Are people to self absorbed and consumed by being in the know to realize it’s a matter of safety? I really don’t get it.
Despite this irritation I slept for a little, comforted by the idea that I was safe and the weather was awesome — warm but the breeze was amazing. My boyfriend listened in on the scanner and we heard them saying they were doing negotiations with the man. At 3 a.m we heard 4 shots and then 30 minutes later we were allowed in. I think, they smoked him out because their was nothing on the news about it, just that a suicidal man was in custody.
Also, this always becomes an anti-gun issue — which to be frank, also, annoys the crap out of me. Guns don’t put me at unease, it’s the people who wield their power. They’re the ones that frighten me, because the people who want to do damage will do so by any means and can turn any object into a weapon. People tend to forget that because they long to believe that people are inherently good and ridding guns out of the equation will possibly mean less violence. Nope, sadistic people are sadistic and will do evil things because they’re evil not because an object is in their possession. Hell, I’m inclined to believe that evil people could turn puppies/kittens into a weapon and the day that happens. . . well, I’m screwed because I love puppies and kittens.
Point is: the stupid intrusion dreams have commenced once again.