Second Guessing

I’ve been thinking lately, ever since I left my job. Have I done a terrible mistake? The place that I’ve gone over to has been very unprofessional, they made me wait over an hour and a half on an appointment they set up. I feel completely unprepared because they gave me information until the day before I’m supposed to go in, they changed my job description and hours. I’m not one to get easily irritated but I’m beyond annoyed and I accepted because I felt that I have no choice but to accept….

I kept thinking, wow — I’m so stupid. It couldn’t have been all that bad for me to leave? Always the second guessing but then my friend came over and we talked and I realized I shouldn’t second guess a decision that brought me much happiness. Sure, this new job hasn’t proven it’s worth but I hated my previous job. More than hate, I loathed it. Their was more than a couple of reasons why I left and I know I’m jumping the gun on the regret because if I was back there again I don’t know that I could stay another minute. I’d probably walk out. The more I talked to her, the more I realized I was being foolish. I let the darkness cloud my decision, a decision that elated me. I don’t regret leaving. Not one bit. Sure, I realize that now I may struggle with this new job but I will deal and not by just taking it silently. nope. I’m going to be straightforward and honest, I’ve been screwed by too many jobs and I’m not going to start this one that way. I’m done with being conformist because of money. Money will no longer dictate my decisions, if I have to give up certain luxuries to be happy then so be it. I will not acquiesce. 

I’ve begun applying at more places and hopefully I find something else. Jobs are limited and scarce. If I could, I’d just move out of Kansas and go to Chicago to study photography. Or better just travel the world. I know I’m not being realistic on that part but it’s nice to dream. 

I’ve got a couple of hours before I go into my first actual shift. I’m going to give them my thoughts and feelings and who knows what’ll happen. Their’s a possibility that I’ll be unemployed before the night is up. ha. 

May the force be with me. 

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3 thoughts on “Second Guessing

  1. whhaaa!!!.. you quit??.. where did you go?

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